“Appearing to be free is not the goal, being free is.”
I heard that phrase in a sermon many years ago in a pentecostal Christian church. While I no longer believe much of the doctrine of that church, this phrase has stuck with me. I was reminded of it again last week.
Sometimes I feel I need to show people that I have it all together. Especially after starting this blog. I have to project an image of “calm within”, of “appearing to be free”, I tell myself. Well, I’m not calm within all the time, not by a long shot, and I certainly don’t have it all together.
But I’m coming to a realization that this is ok. Instead of stuffing my sometimes turbulent emotions, it’s ok to let them out. If I’m feeling fear or uncertainty, it’s ok to show it. If I’m sad, to stay with the sadness. In short, to feel whatever my emotion is of the moment, and not worry if it is inappropriate to express it.
“Enlightenment isn’t about perfecting yourself. The point is to be yourself and to find freedom in yourself – even in the midst of your stuff,” writes Jack Kornfield. I like that.
